We live in a Nike world—a "just do it" society, to borrow the advertising slogan. This phrase has become part of everyday language for many Americans. And, in some cases, it is good advice.
For example, instead of getting overly uptight about whether a school report will be perfect and procrastinating about getting it started—just do it. Write the report and be finished with the project. Or instead of complaining about some chore around the house that you don't particularly like—just do it. The job will be finished that much sooner, and you can go about whatever else you want to do.
But is "just do it" good advice in all cases? Consider the matter of sex. Much of the entertainment media in the Western world implies or plainly tells us that sex is for everyone, at any time. Movies and television shows usually depict illicit sex between unmarried people as common or expected.
The lyrics of many modern songs carry the same message. For example the number two song on iTunes “Love in the Club”. Excerpts from lyrics: I wanna make love in the club, On the couch, on the table, in the club, in this club. Let’s both get undressed right here, Imma give it to ya non-stop. Sex sells, and the message is that having sex with anyone you love—or think you love—is perfectly acceptable. The idea that sex should be reserved for marriage is looked down on as an outdated notion held by religious people who are missing out on something good. The slogan seems to be "just do it" when you want and don't worry about whether or not you are married.
If you listen to the entertainment world, you might also get the impression that everyone is "doing it." After all, Hollywood producers often say they are only mimicking true life. And all too often young people fall for that lie. They can begin to feel embarrassed by not being experienced sexually—by being a virgin.
Word meanings change
It's funny sometimes how fluid the English language is. Words take on different connotations over time, depending on the prevailing actions and attitudes of the day.
The word virgin has experienced that shift. The Random House Unabridged Dictionary says virgin means a person who has never had sexual intercourse. It also lists many other meanings for the word—including pure, first, not exploited or not previously used. These all have the connotation of something that is beautiful and of the highest quality. Yet society often views being a virgin in the area of sex as out of date or bad. How ironic!
Why restrict sex?
However, there are other aspects of the negative consequences that are perhaps more visible or noticeable. In the United States, the "free love" approach began in earnest during the 1960s. What has been the fruit of some 40 years of promiscuity?
Divorces have skyrocketed to the point that there is a divorce for every two new marriages, and sexually transmissible diseases (STDs) have run rampant. The consequences of STDs range from irritation, embarrassment, sterility and lifelong pain to death, especially in the case of AIDS.
Teens' shifting attitudes toward sex
Apparently the warning message is starting to get through to more young people today. The CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) released a report in September 2002 that indicates more young people are saying, "let's not" when it comes to matters of sex.
It notes that between 1991 and 2001, the number of high school students who say they have never had sexual intercourse increased by 8.5 percent. The same report shows that well over half (54.4 percent) of all high school students have never had sexual intercourse. They have rejected the "just do it" mantra and the percentage tells us there are more virgins than nonvirgins. Perhaps young people are realizing that being a virgin means there are fewer emotional heartaches as well as freedom from worry about STDs. Sex creates a strong emotional bond. If that bond is created with someone other than a spouse, the odds are extremely high that at some point it will be broken—resulting in deep emotional pain and suffering.
It's interesting that the same report says that 67 percent of high school students are not currently sexually active. That means some have had sex in the past, but are no longer sexually active. There are obviously many young people who have made mistakes in the area of sex, but have stopped. Sometimes after making a mistake in this area people get discouraged or even depressed.
It is easy for them to reason that since they cannot turn back the clock, they may as well just keep on being sexually active.
Remaining a virgin has wonderful blessings—physical, emotional and spiritual. Perhaps it's time we shifted the meaning of that word back toward something that is beautiful and of the highest quality.
Entering marriage as a virgin shows that a person has chosen to remain pure and unexploited for his or her future mate. And if someone has already made a mistake in this area, "second virginity" will bring blessings from that point forward. The past cannot be undone, but there will not be any additional negative consequences. Virginity is worth it. Don't let anyone deceive you into thinking it is not—or that "everyone" is having sex. Don't be fooled by movies or soap operas. Married people, true to their partners, are the ones who really experience the intimate joys of the gift of sex.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Our kids are worth it!
I'm spending my children's inheritance!" The bumper sticker on the huge recreational vehicle ahead of me may have been meant only in jest. This is a catchy, lighthearted phrase. But it does mask a darker truth for societies with exploding populations of alienated youths, many struggling with personal crises.
It's ironic that, while baby boomers and other older adults live better and have more wealth than any other adult population in the history of the planet, they place such a comparatively small value on children. In the United States one third of all children are born out of wedlock. One third of children in America live in single-parent homes (usually a single mother), with a third of those living below the poverty line. Tens of millions of American youths hunger for spiritual and emotional care. Many cry in the dark, alone. While some of these literally hunger for food, all hunger for parental love. They long to be valued and appreciated.
The problems are especially acute in households with teenagers. In the United States 60 percent of mothers in two-parent families work outside the home. In families headed by single mothers, 70 percent of them work outside the home. Overall, only 25 percent of teens say their mothers are always home when they return from school. Only 58 percent say their fathers care about them.
The effects of this out-of-sight, out-of-mind approach have left permanent scars on millions of children. They in turn will influence the future of the nations for generations.
Causes and effects of neglect
Let's understand how popular media culture is a form of abuse that inflicts many of our youth. Many of these youths, seriously scarred, simply didn't care about any eventual psychological, emotional or physical health consequences. They were merely acting out the moral perversion in many parts of modern culture. Their parents didn't know what was going on in their own homes. Ask your children to set and watch the programs they are watching on TV. MTV, VHI, and Bet are some of the favorite channels. One such program is Tila Tequila. A single bi-sexual, looking for love. A dating reality show that shows women in bed with women and group sexual situations. Is that the kind of behavior we want our youth to model?
These problem are symptoms of underlying ills. We have created a system of devaluing children and their needs.
In the United States more than half of children 18 and younger do not live with their natural fathers. The fatherless-home phenomenon shortchanges children on one of their greatest needs: the daily involvement of both a father and mother. Children need both parents to help, support and guide them. Sadly, the emotional abandonment that usually follows divorce, or the unwillingness to support a child born after casual sex, is all too prevalent.
Neglect from fathers, coupled with lack of child-rearing skills when fathers are present, contributes to children's risks. When fathers are present, they typically spend an average of only five minutes a day talking face to face with each child.
Since fathers don't talk with their children, what happens instead? The vast majority of dads and moms place their kids in front of electronic baby-sitters to free up time for things they'd rather be doing. The Kaiser Foundation recently reported that American children spend an average of 35 non-school hours weekly with electronic entertainment media. Many sources put TV viewing alone at 25-28 hours weekly.
What do children see on television? Multitudes of scientific studies conclude that unregulated TV makes a destructive and abusive impact on the developing minds and personalities of children.
With their often violent, sexually promiscuous and sometimes perverted formats and themes, far too many TV programs become the primary educator of our children, the chief source of their view of the world and the foremost influence in forming their values. The result? Said a Texas 17-year-old: "Our generation is far more desensitized to violence than any other generation. TVs raise children now more than parents do, and television caters to children's violent fantasies. Parents are working more and spending less time with their kids."
Best parenting practices
The surest way to see your children succeed is to practice an approach that reorients parents' values to support youth development. Some call it forming a child-centered universe.
Bible readers aren't surprised to learn that programs built around scriptural principles are among the most effective for helping at-risk youths. Researchers have found that excellence in parental support of children leads to successful young men and women who develop resilience, strength of character and a healthy identity.
Hill Walker is co director of the University of Oregon's Institute on Violence and Destructive Behavior, which has programs in schools throughout the United States. Dr. Walker offers these keys for effective child rearing:
Parent involvement. Parents should be involved with their children at all times, whether in structured or unstructured activities. Involvement needs to be continuous from birth until the child leaves home as a young adult. Parental contact with children is the crucial factor, because children gain security by knowing parents are always there. This is as important for teens as it is for younger children.
A critical part of parental involvement is a daily discussion time in which parents review the child's day with him and discuss what happened. It tells the child the parents care for him and are concerned about what happens in his life. It is also an excellent method to detect problems in the child's life that parents might not discover otherwise. Once the child begins school, it is extremely important to conduct a daily discussion of this type. The dinner table is often a good place for this to happen. A relaxed family conversation after a meal may be much more effective than what the child may perceive to be a formal interrogation period.
Monitoring. Careful parental monitoring of the child's activities, behavior, schedules, whereabouts, friendships and associations with other children is one of the single most important things parents can do to ensure their children grow up healthy, safe and fully engaged in building success for themselves and others. Careful monitoring can be a powerful protective factor in a child's life. But use wisdom.
Positive techniques for parents. Parents with positive outlooks are supportive and encouraging toward each of their children. It is important to establish a loving relationship between parents and children that involves mutual respect and affection. Parents then will be better able to influence their children in the right directions using praise and approval, persuasion and the teaching of logical thinking. In the absence of positive techniques, many parents grow harsh and punitive, forcing the child into desired behaviors. A child, however, can take such harshness as discouraging attacks on his worth as a person. In the child's mind, the parent is then placed in an adversarial position instead of the child's protector and advocate.
Discipline. Parental discipline needs to be fair, consistent and predictable. It should never be harsh or overly punitive. There should be a logical relationship between child behavior and the consequences that are applied to it.
Problem-solving, conflict resolution and crisis intervention. During their upbringing, children experience many crises that are minor but loom large in their perceptions. When they bring problems to their parents for assistance, it is important that parents respond to their concerns immediately and completely. Parents should develop alternatives for the child to consider in solving the problem and encourage him to choose one that is acceptable and that works for him. Children should always have the confidence that such problems will receive a fair hearing and that they will have access to parental assistance when needed.
A blessing and a responsibility
The Bible tells us that children are a gift from God (Psalm 127:3-5). Being a good parent is one of the most important responsibilities that we incur in life, with the distinct possibility of truly satisfying rewards. By our godly example and positive teaching, we can influence the lives of our sons and daughters for the good.
It's ironic that, while baby boomers and other older adults live better and have more wealth than any other adult population in the history of the planet, they place such a comparatively small value on children. In the United States one third of all children are born out of wedlock. One third of children in America live in single-parent homes (usually a single mother), with a third of those living below the poverty line. Tens of millions of American youths hunger for spiritual and emotional care. Many cry in the dark, alone. While some of these literally hunger for food, all hunger for parental love. They long to be valued and appreciated.
The problems are especially acute in households with teenagers. In the United States 60 percent of mothers in two-parent families work outside the home. In families headed by single mothers, 70 percent of them work outside the home. Overall, only 25 percent of teens say their mothers are always home when they return from school. Only 58 percent say their fathers care about them.
The effects of this out-of-sight, out-of-mind approach have left permanent scars on millions of children. They in turn will influence the future of the nations for generations.
Causes and effects of neglect
Let's understand how popular media culture is a form of abuse that inflicts many of our youth. Many of these youths, seriously scarred, simply didn't care about any eventual psychological, emotional or physical health consequences. They were merely acting out the moral perversion in many parts of modern culture. Their parents didn't know what was going on in their own homes. Ask your children to set and watch the programs they are watching on TV. MTV, VHI, and Bet are some of the favorite channels. One such program is Tila Tequila. A single bi-sexual, looking for love. A dating reality show that shows women in bed with women and group sexual situations. Is that the kind of behavior we want our youth to model?
These problem are symptoms of underlying ills. We have created a system of devaluing children and their needs.
In the United States more than half of children 18 and younger do not live with their natural fathers. The fatherless-home phenomenon shortchanges children on one of their greatest needs: the daily involvement of both a father and mother. Children need both parents to help, support and guide them. Sadly, the emotional abandonment that usually follows divorce, or the unwillingness to support a child born after casual sex, is all too prevalent.
Neglect from fathers, coupled with lack of child-rearing skills when fathers are present, contributes to children's risks. When fathers are present, they typically spend an average of only five minutes a day talking face to face with each child.
Since fathers don't talk with their children, what happens instead? The vast majority of dads and moms place their kids in front of electronic baby-sitters to free up time for things they'd rather be doing. The Kaiser Foundation recently reported that American children spend an average of 35 non-school hours weekly with electronic entertainment media. Many sources put TV viewing alone at 25-28 hours weekly.
What do children see on television? Multitudes of scientific studies conclude that unregulated TV makes a destructive and abusive impact on the developing minds and personalities of children.
With their often violent, sexually promiscuous and sometimes perverted formats and themes, far too many TV programs become the primary educator of our children, the chief source of their view of the world and the foremost influence in forming their values. The result? Said a Texas 17-year-old: "Our generation is far more desensitized to violence than any other generation. TVs raise children now more than parents do, and television caters to children's violent fantasies. Parents are working more and spending less time with their kids."
Best parenting practices
The surest way to see your children succeed is to practice an approach that reorients parents' values to support youth development. Some call it forming a child-centered universe.
Bible readers aren't surprised to learn that programs built around scriptural principles are among the most effective for helping at-risk youths. Researchers have found that excellence in parental support of children leads to successful young men and women who develop resilience, strength of character and a healthy identity.
Hill Walker is co director of the University of Oregon's Institute on Violence and Destructive Behavior, which has programs in schools throughout the United States. Dr. Walker offers these keys for effective child rearing:
Parent involvement. Parents should be involved with their children at all times, whether in structured or unstructured activities. Involvement needs to be continuous from birth until the child leaves home as a young adult. Parental contact with children is the crucial factor, because children gain security by knowing parents are always there. This is as important for teens as it is for younger children.
A critical part of parental involvement is a daily discussion time in which parents review the child's day with him and discuss what happened. It tells the child the parents care for him and are concerned about what happens in his life. It is also an excellent method to detect problems in the child's life that parents might not discover otherwise. Once the child begins school, it is extremely important to conduct a daily discussion of this type. The dinner table is often a good place for this to happen. A relaxed family conversation after a meal may be much more effective than what the child may perceive to be a formal interrogation period.
Monitoring. Careful parental monitoring of the child's activities, behavior, schedules, whereabouts, friendships and associations with other children is one of the single most important things parents can do to ensure their children grow up healthy, safe and fully engaged in building success for themselves and others. Careful monitoring can be a powerful protective factor in a child's life. But use wisdom.
Positive techniques for parents. Parents with positive outlooks are supportive and encouraging toward each of their children. It is important to establish a loving relationship between parents and children that involves mutual respect and affection. Parents then will be better able to influence their children in the right directions using praise and approval, persuasion and the teaching of logical thinking. In the absence of positive techniques, many parents grow harsh and punitive, forcing the child into desired behaviors. A child, however, can take such harshness as discouraging attacks on his worth as a person. In the child's mind, the parent is then placed in an adversarial position instead of the child's protector and advocate.
Discipline. Parental discipline needs to be fair, consistent and predictable. It should never be harsh or overly punitive. There should be a logical relationship between child behavior and the consequences that are applied to it.
Problem-solving, conflict resolution and crisis intervention. During their upbringing, children experience many crises that are minor but loom large in their perceptions. When they bring problems to their parents for assistance, it is important that parents respond to their concerns immediately and completely. Parents should develop alternatives for the child to consider in solving the problem and encourage him to choose one that is acceptable and that works for him. Children should always have the confidence that such problems will receive a fair hearing and that they will have access to parental assistance when needed.
A blessing and a responsibility
The Bible tells us that children are a gift from God (Psalm 127:3-5). Being a good parent is one of the most important responsibilities that we incur in life, with the distinct possibility of truly satisfying rewards. By our godly example and positive teaching, we can influence the lives of our sons and daughters for the good.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Youth, Sex and STD’s
Youth, Sex and STD’s
You may be asking when I should talk to my child about sex. Research shows that young children are most likely to look to their parents for guidance regarding tough issues. However, as they reach adolescence, they tend to depend on their friends and the media. In talking to your children about issues like dating, relationships, and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) such as HPV, Chlamydia, Herpes, Gonorrhea, and HIV/AIDS, you leave a lasting impression. This will help you provide your children with information that is accurate and reflects your personal values and morals.
Parents are the most effective and trusted source of information about these topics, but only if you talk to them early enough! Your children need information about relationships and sexuality BEFORE they start dating! Don’t wait for your children to ask about sex or STD’s. Initiate conversations on your own. Use everyday opportunities to talk about issues important to sexual health. For instance, use current events or news stories, music, television, or movie content to bring up these issues.
One of the best ways to be involved in your children’s lives is to make sure they know they are loved and that you are available to help with any question or concern they might have. It is important your children understand that you have high expectations of them. You should make sure that you know their friends and their friends families. Also it is extremely important to establish rules, curfews, and standards of expected behavior and stick to them.
We also need to be a role model. Being a good example speaks volumes to our youth. We can’t expect them to listen to us when we say no sex until you’re married if we are not walking that walk. We can’t tell our children to not do drugs and then do them ourselves.
Research shows that parent-child rapport is directly related to teen sexual health. This includes Dads. Dads are the first example for our young daughters as to how a man should treat a woman. Dad plays a key part in the self-esteem of young ladies. Teaching and talking continually to them about self- respect is the greatest lesson. Studies show that teens that are close with their parents are more likely to remain sexually abstinent and postpone intercourse.
Sandusky County parents need to step up to the responsibilities they have been given as parents. In this county we have seen girls as young as 13 having babies. We are seeing girls at the age of 15 already infected with multiple STD’s. In our county (findings for 2005) 31% of our youth have had sexual intercourse, and 58% of those ages 17 and over. Of those high school youth who were sexually active, 39% had done so by the age of 14. Another 31% had done so by the age of 15 years of age. Females had sex at a younger age than males. By age fifteen, 77% of females have had sex compared to 62% of males.
Globally, 333 million new cases of curable STD’s occur each year among young adults. 1 in 4 of these STD infections occur in teenagers.
This is really frightening information but just the tip of the iceberg. We can’t expect our teens to be open about everything. We will increase our chances of keeping communication open if we remain savvy about teen sex and what is going on in their lives. Inform yourselves. Check out current information because there are STD’s that can kill. Some places to start are www.heartfre.com. and www.abstinenceclearinghouse.org and www.medinstitute.org. Please watch the programming they are watching on television. MTV is a good place to understand what media our children are exposed to.
Remember, it is not as important to be their friend as it is to be the very best example we can possibly be for our youth. If you’re not a parent, please think about getting involved in programs in the community that would allow you to be a mentor and role-model to a youth. First Call for Help would have those listed organizations.
You may be asking when I should talk to my child about sex. Research shows that young children are most likely to look to their parents for guidance regarding tough issues. However, as they reach adolescence, they tend to depend on their friends and the media. In talking to your children about issues like dating, relationships, and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) such as HPV, Chlamydia, Herpes, Gonorrhea, and HIV/AIDS, you leave a lasting impression. This will help you provide your children with information that is accurate and reflects your personal values and morals.
Parents are the most effective and trusted source of information about these topics, but only if you talk to them early enough! Your children need information about relationships and sexuality BEFORE they start dating! Don’t wait for your children to ask about sex or STD’s. Initiate conversations on your own. Use everyday opportunities to talk about issues important to sexual health. For instance, use current events or news stories, music, television, or movie content to bring up these issues.
One of the best ways to be involved in your children’s lives is to make sure they know they are loved and that you are available to help with any question or concern they might have. It is important your children understand that you have high expectations of them. You should make sure that you know their friends and their friends families. Also it is extremely important to establish rules, curfews, and standards of expected behavior and stick to them.
We also need to be a role model. Being a good example speaks volumes to our youth. We can’t expect them to listen to us when we say no sex until you’re married if we are not walking that walk. We can’t tell our children to not do drugs and then do them ourselves.
Research shows that parent-child rapport is directly related to teen sexual health. This includes Dads. Dads are the first example for our young daughters as to how a man should treat a woman. Dad plays a key part in the self-esteem of young ladies. Teaching and talking continually to them about self- respect is the greatest lesson. Studies show that teens that are close with their parents are more likely to remain sexually abstinent and postpone intercourse.
Sandusky County parents need to step up to the responsibilities they have been given as parents. In this county we have seen girls as young as 13 having babies. We are seeing girls at the age of 15 already infected with multiple STD’s. In our county (findings for 2005) 31% of our youth have had sexual intercourse, and 58% of those ages 17 and over. Of those high school youth who were sexually active, 39% had done so by the age of 14. Another 31% had done so by the age of 15 years of age. Females had sex at a younger age than males. By age fifteen, 77% of females have had sex compared to 62% of males.
Globally, 333 million new cases of curable STD’s occur each year among young adults. 1 in 4 of these STD infections occur in teenagers.
This is really frightening information but just the tip of the iceberg. We can’t expect our teens to be open about everything. We will increase our chances of keeping communication open if we remain savvy about teen sex and what is going on in their lives. Inform yourselves. Check out current information because there are STD’s that can kill. Some places to start are www.heartfre.com. and www.abstinenceclearinghouse.org and www.medinstitute.org. Please watch the programming they are watching on television. MTV is a good place to understand what media our children are exposed to.
Remember, it is not as important to be their friend as it is to be the very best example we can possibly be for our youth. If you’re not a parent, please think about getting involved in programs in the community that would allow you to be a mentor and role-model to a youth. First Call for Help would have those listed organizations.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Hooking Up
Hooking up, Losing Out: The New Culture of Teen Sex
As we are beginning to prepare our youth to leave home and experience possibly college life or living on their own it is our responsibility to still be informed.
During a class discussion on adolescence, a high school teacher recently asked her students whether they go on dates. We don’t “date,” the 12th graders reported. We “hook up.”
If you’re in your 40s, “hooking up” might mean catching a friend downtown for lunch. But to people in their teens or 20s, the phrase often means a casual sexual encounter-anything from kissing onwards-with no strings attached.
In the October 2006 issue of Newsweek “hooking up” is defined as anything from “gentle touching” to intercourse. The term has gained popularity and attracted media attention in the past 10 years and is widely accepted by this generation as they communicate via AIM and Facebook. According to a survey of 555 college students taken by Elizabeth Paul, a psychology professor at the College of New Jersey, 78 % of college students participate in this ritual.
The very sad fact among this information is that this behavior, which we would generally associate with only 20-year-old college students, is now also happening in the seventh and eighth grade. Even Christian teens are not immune to the rampant sexual temptations bombarding their generation. The teens have been desensitized by the sexual messages on television, in movies, in magazines and from their friends. Sure, sexual behavior among adolescents is nothing new. But what is new is the startling casualness and regularity with which “hooking up” takes place…among friends and strangers, in groups and in public. Another problem is that many teens don’t understand what virginity really is, so everything except intercourse is considered okay. Does it matter? It most certainly does!
Most teens do not realize that oral sex can transmit many of the same STDs that can be contracted through intercourse. With sexual activity being reported by one-quarter of middle school students and almost two-thirds of high school students, related diseases and illnesses have been called EPIDEMIC. And the psychological consequence is not far behind.
The reason the parents are the last to know is because they do not fully understand how commonplace these sexual behaviors have become in their children’s generation. Most parents really don’t want to believe these things are taking place. Many parents, adults and pastors are so afraid to say the wrong words that they are just turning a blind eye. While it is primarily the parent’s responsibility to pass their values to their children at home it is also believed that the churches have a responsibility to guide the teens in their congregations. That means giving youth pastors the freedom to frankly discuss modesty, purity, lust, and sex with teens.
In truth we are all in this together. Adults who understand, acknowledge, and communicate with teens-even across gender lines-about difficult decisions they face when it comes to sex can guide them toward healthy choices. And that’s the good news because after all, hooking up may mean losing out!
As we are beginning to prepare our youth to leave home and experience possibly college life or living on their own it is our responsibility to still be informed.
During a class discussion on adolescence, a high school teacher recently asked her students whether they go on dates. We don’t “date,” the 12th graders reported. We “hook up.”
If you’re in your 40s, “hooking up” might mean catching a friend downtown for lunch. But to people in their teens or 20s, the phrase often means a casual sexual encounter-anything from kissing onwards-with no strings attached.
In the October 2006 issue of Newsweek “hooking up” is defined as anything from “gentle touching” to intercourse. The term has gained popularity and attracted media attention in the past 10 years and is widely accepted by this generation as they communicate via AIM and Facebook. According to a survey of 555 college students taken by Elizabeth Paul, a psychology professor at the College of New Jersey, 78 % of college students participate in this ritual.
The very sad fact among this information is that this behavior, which we would generally associate with only 20-year-old college students, is now also happening in the seventh and eighth grade. Even Christian teens are not immune to the rampant sexual temptations bombarding their generation. The teens have been desensitized by the sexual messages on television, in movies, in magazines and from their friends. Sure, sexual behavior among adolescents is nothing new. But what is new is the startling casualness and regularity with which “hooking up” takes place…among friends and strangers, in groups and in public. Another problem is that many teens don’t understand what virginity really is, so everything except intercourse is considered okay. Does it matter? It most certainly does!
Most teens do not realize that oral sex can transmit many of the same STDs that can be contracted through intercourse. With sexual activity being reported by one-quarter of middle school students and almost two-thirds of high school students, related diseases and illnesses have been called EPIDEMIC. And the psychological consequence is not far behind.
The reason the parents are the last to know is because they do not fully understand how commonplace these sexual behaviors have become in their children’s generation. Most parents really don’t want to believe these things are taking place. Many parents, adults and pastors are so afraid to say the wrong words that they are just turning a blind eye. While it is primarily the parent’s responsibility to pass their values to their children at home it is also believed that the churches have a responsibility to guide the teens in their congregations. That means giving youth pastors the freedom to frankly discuss modesty, purity, lust, and sex with teens.
In truth we are all in this together. Adults who understand, acknowledge, and communicate with teens-even across gender lines-about difficult decisions they face when it comes to sex can guide them toward healthy choices. And that’s the good news because after all, hooking up may mean losing out!
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