Hooking Up

Hooking up, Losing Out: The New Culture of Teen Sex

As we are beginning to prepare our youth to leave home and experience possibly college life or living on their own it is our responsibility to still be informed.
During a class discussion on adolescence, a high school teacher recently asked her students whether they go on dates. We don’t “date,” the 12th graders reported. We “hook up.”
If you’re in your 40s, “hooking up” might mean catching a friend downtown for lunch. But to people in their teens or 20s, the phrase often means a casual sexual encounter-anything from kissing onwards-with no strings attached.
In the October 2006 issue of Newsweek “hooking up” is defined as anything from “gentle touching” to intercourse. The term has gained popularity and attracted media attention in the past 10 years and is widely accepted by this generation as they communicate via AIM and Facebook. According to a survey of 555 college students taken by Elizabeth Paul, a psychology professor at the College of New Jersey, 78 % of college students participate in this ritual.
The very sad fact among this information is that this behavior, which we would generally associate with only 20-year-old college students, is now also happening in the seventh and eighth grade. Even Christian teens are not immune to the rampant sexual temptations bombarding their generation. The teens have been desensitized by the sexual messages on television, in movies, in magazines and from their friends. Sure, sexual behavior among adolescents is nothing new. But what is new is the startling casualness and regularity with which “hooking up” takes place…among friends and strangers, in groups and in public. Another problem is that many teens don’t understand what virginity really is, so everything except intercourse is considered okay. Does it matter? It most certainly does!
Most teens do not realize that oral sex can transmit many of the same STDs that can be contracted through intercourse. With sexual activity being reported by one-quarter of middle school students and almost two-thirds of high school students, related diseases and illnesses have been called EPIDEMIC. And the psychological consequence is not far behind.
The reason the parents are the last to know is because they do not fully understand how commonplace these sexual behaviors have become in their children’s generation. Most parents really don’t want to believe these things are taking place. Many parents, adults and pastors are so afraid to say the wrong words that they are just turning a blind eye. While it is primarily the parent’s responsibility to pass their values to their children at home it is also believed that the churches have a responsibility to guide the teens in their congregations. That means giving youth pastors the freedom to frankly discuss modesty, purity, lust, and sex with teens.
In truth we are all in this together. Adults who understand, acknowledge, and communicate with teens-even across gender lines-about difficult decisions they face when it comes to sex can guide them toward healthy choices. And that’s the good news because after all, hooking up may mean losing out!